posted on October 24th, 2008
Act the One
A lion, a tiger and a bear discuss how much they admire that strangest of animals, the human.
Tony the Lion: It’s amazing what a human can do once it sets its mind to it.
Leo the Bear: No kidding! Like the pyramids!
Yogi the Tiger: That was aliens. Aliens did the pyramids.
Leo: The ones in Egypt, yes, but it was the good old earthlings that built the pyramids in Central America.
Yogi: Oh, right, the Aztecs. The Aztecs built some very fine pyramids.
Tony: The Aztecs weren’t aliens? I thought they were aliens.
Leo: No, Tony, the Aztecs were human.
Tony: Shows what I know. But I’m just a dumb lion. I couldn’t even build a pile of dirt.
Yogi: Don’t be so hard on yourself, Tony. I mean, you are the King of the Jungle.
Tony: Thanks, Yogi.
Yogi: Hey, no prob, Tone. But what about those humans, huh?
Leo: For sure. Architecture, art, music, literature, tools, even weapons. It blows my mind what they can do.
Tony: It must be because of those opposable thumbs they’ve got.
Leo: But the furry primates, they’ve got thumbs like that too, don’t they, and all they can do with ‘em is swing from trees or pick fruit.
Tony: They can pick ticks off each other.
Leo: That’s true.
Yogi: I like monkeys. They taste good.
Leo: I’ve never eaten a monkey.
Tony: Oh, they’re tasty, that’s for sure. Kinda hard to catch, though.
Act the Two
Leo: But speaking of good things to eat, that’s another area where humans excel.
Yogi: Ah, yes, the culinary arts. Spices and seasonings! Rosemary, cumin, basil and cardamom!
Leo: Cayenne and peppercorns! Garlic, dill and thyme!
Tony: Sweet and sour! Bitter and bland!
Leo: Well, no Tony, those things are flavors, not seasonings. Seasonings provide flavors to dishes that cooks make.
Yogi: Not bland. Bland means tasteless, so there aren’t any seasonings.
Tony: Bland food is for sick humans then, isn’t it?
Leo: Uh huh. Pretty much, that’s basically it, I think.
Yogi: But these humans, they sure can have fun with food. Food seems to be one of their favorite things.
Tony: Kinda like munching on monkeys, huh, you guys?
Yogi: Yeah, Tony, something like that.
Leo: I’m gonna have to try some monkey one of these days.
Yogi: And music! Humans are tops when it comes to music. Better than Mother Nature, whaddaya think?
Leo: Mother Nature makes some terrific sounds, but humans can really make you dance, I think.
Tony: Their music certainly calms my savage beast, there’s no doubt about that. How do humans come up with all those different musical sounds?
Yogi: Compose. The word for making up that music is “compose”, Tony.
Tony: Oh, okay. But how do they do that? How can they compose so much different stuff? I can roar, but not in so many different ways. And you guys can roar, too, different than me, but that’s just three types of roaring. I think it’s way cool, that human music.
Leo & Yogi: Way to go, Humans! We’re totally on your side!
Leo: Oh, hey, what about the Egyptians, though? Were they aliens?
Yogi: Well, Tony, what about it? Africa’s your turf.
Tony the Lion: No, those old-time Egyptians were humans, too. The aliens just helped them with their pyramids, that’s all. This is common knowledge with us lions. It’s in our ancestral memory. But something else I don’t understand. Why do humans always get our names wrong? Why do they always call me Leo? My name’s Tony.
Yogi the Tiger: Who knows?
Leo the Bear: Hey, nobody’s perfect.
Doug Ellsworth is a translation editor and overall language consultant in Taiwan for a central government bureau handling international trade and economics issues. His interests include shadow boxing, holographic visualization and manifestation methodology, reading fiction, writing, cooking and listening to improvisational jazz-based instrumentation. http://chaoschasm2.blogspot.com
The burly ex-bouncer on trial for kidnapping a college student was found guilty today. Littlejohn, 44, was charged with kidnapping, assault, robbery and criminal impersonation for the Oct. 19, 2005 incident. If convicted, he faces up to 25 years…
Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
Although there is no real statistical evidence, experience from support groups and “community watchers” indicates that as much as fifty percent of the kinky dating attempts fail, either as early as during the initial dating proces or in the early stages of what was supposed to grow to a rewarding relationship for all parties involved.
There seems to be no real prime cause for this rather dramatic figure, but research by the POWERotics Foundation as well as several European print magazine publishers indicates that there are quite a lot of things, people can do to boost their success: predominantly by trying to steer clear of various obvious and not so obvious traps.
Three key factors
So why do people have so much trouble finding a partner?
1. Well, one of the key factors is that it just isn’t easy.
You just cannot go to a bar, discotheque or party, address someone and say something like “hey, I’m into bondage, are you willing to share that with me?”
First of all, doing that will probably quickly lead to a very embarrassing situation.
Secondly, depending on where you are, it may get you in legal or social trouble. For example: recent research shows that just about 25 percent of the average relationship develops in a working environment. In other words: colleques dating colleques. That as such often creates tension on the workplace. Introducing power exchange in that environment is probably next to impossible.
2. And another thing is “a little thing called love”. Hormones already shift into overdrive when you meet someone you fancy. The pretty hefty overdose of adrenaline and endorphines that occurs, when you start to think about sharing your darkest, most secret fantasies with someone else is very likely to shortcut your entire brain. Endresult: you end up doing everything wrong, or in the wrong order. Nobody can blame you for doing that. You just cannot control your hormones. Nobody can. But ….. it still IS counterproductive.
3. Finally, the kinky dating process itself - due to the secrecy around it - is usually totally different from other dating processes. It is much more concentrated within “the community” itself and done through personal ads, internet dating, telephone dating and visiting munches, clubs, roups and parties, hoping that people will find like-minded counterparts there.
Traditonally, people tend to look for a kink-friendly environment first and next concentrate their dating on that specific environment. This as such is no surprise, because at first glance anyway this sounds like the logical thing to do. Surprisingly though, the vast majority of succesful kinky relationships started off in a non-kinky situation, usually simply as a result of the fact that partners where open and brave enough to share their emotions with each other, despite the fact they had not indicated such emotions before.
So, is there a solution? Yes there is, but that may not always be easy. The best strategy is to try and plan the kinky dating process. But than again: love, lust, desire and planning simply do not always fit into the same box at the same time. Meaning that the best thing you can do is to try and come up with something that is a combination of (at least some) planning, pure instinct and MAINLY avoiding traps.
No pain, no gain
Let’s face it. Dating is a matter of risktaking. Yes, you may be turned down. Yes, you may be dumped. Yes you may fail. If you are not willing to take that risk, well … get out a deck of cards and the book on 1001 ways to play solitaire. You will have to be ready and prepare yourself for a few bruises. Hardly anyone survives the dating process without some. And they’re not a problem. They are a learning experience.
However, you can prevent quite a lot of these bruises. Mainly by being realistic about who you are and what you want. As far as we know Pamela Anderson is NOT submissive and even if she is, she cannot submit to the entire world. Neither are you gods’ gift to the world. Yes, your fantasies probably are very special to you and submitting may feel like you are actually “giving” something very special.
The dating process
The dating process itself can be divided into 5 phases:
1. the initial need to share your emotions, feelings and probably your life with someone
2. translating that into an “actual person” or an “actual situation”. “Actual” in the sense that you start to project yourself in the arms of someone you fancy (a real person or a more abstract image) or that you picture yourself in the situation you desire
3. setting out to find a partner (the actual dating)
4. actual meeting
5. building further from the initial bridgehead onwards
The key success factor is understanding the process you are in, versus what you want to achieve.
Hans Meijer, a Dutch former journalist and government spokesmen, is the chairman for the Powerotics Foundation. This organisation is dedicated to provide quality information about alternative lifestyles.
Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
Shibari (.a.k.a. “Japanese bondage” is an ancient, Japanese, integrated concept of body, mind and spirit.
The objective is to unlock erotic energy through trance or trance-like experiences.
Trance (a different level of awareness) is being achieved through a refined mix of atmosphere, ritual, meditation, love, techniques and intensity of the situation.
Most forms of oriental lovemaking are hardly ever straightforward sexuality, but an intriquing game of exploration and challenges and a delicate combination of subtlety and expliciteness.
Shibari is no different.
What is trance?
Trance is a situation where one is so dedicated to and concentrated on one specific goal or situation, that - through blocking out everything else - the spiritual capacities of the mind are eniterly dedicated to that specific activity. This opens the mind to be able to experience - and use - things it never could under “normal” circumstances, since the brain will be too distracted and too busy.
Certain hormones - endorphins especially - play an important role in trance. Endorphins (morfine-like amino acids produced by the body) are the key factor here. Endorphins are known as the “mood chemicals” in your body. They create your moods, all of them. They come in complex cocktails and also serve other purposes. For example, they are a natural painkiller. Experiencing high doses of endorphins release is called an endorphins rush. This is known as the “runners’ high” in athletics and as “subspace” in power exchange activities.
A combination of endorphins, dopamine (known as “the lover’s feel good hormone”), enkapheline and adrenaline releases creates “super awareness” and this is the key factor in creating trance. Since experiences such as fear, anxiety, stress and physical impulses such as pain all cause the release of high doses of adrenaline and subsequently endorphins - these impulses are being used to allow you to climb the first steps of the trance ladder. Endorphins have a “sister-hormone” called enkephaline, which works on the spinal cord in the same way enderphines work on the brain.
Since mood is important atmosphere is important, which is why - in Shibari body mind spirit terms - a lot of emphasys is being placed on preparation and the physical area. For this, such things as candle light, aroma therapy (incense or evaporating essential oils), bathing and other rituals and techniques are used to create “makama” - the “circle” (area), the physical area where both partners will experience their intens lovemaking. Meditation helps to focus the mind and eventually Ki energy exchange is being used to further enhance the bonding between partners and the forces of gravity and sensory deprivation techniques are being used to create full trance.
Erogenous zones
There is a widespread misunderstanding: “erogenous zones are directly connected to the genital area and other primary sex-identifying features (such as the breasts)”. Fact of the matter is that some 25 percent of the body surface (slightly more on the male body) can be identified as an erogenous zone. And the brain no doubt is the largest sex-organ. Erogenous zones are usually best stimulated through gentle massage, but they are also very receptive to other forms of stimuation, for example pain (if you are into that), or bondage.
The seven patterns of passionate lovemaking
By gently - or more strongly, in order to introduce the element of mild pain - pressing your finger nails into the fleshy parts of your partners’ body you can not only leave temporary marks but doing this can also be an erotic game by itself. To do so, even and symmetric patterns are your best choice. This will not only indulge her lust, but it will also leave something to remember for a few hours a maybe a day or two, an effect that - more intensly - usually is also the result of whipping and caning.
Ropemarks are often an essential part of bondage. In a Shibari body mind spirit context they play a role, similar to other ways of leaving lovemarks.
In its original form these patterns should follow specific designs and all serve specific purposes. The idea is to leave physical marks that will function as a “tell tale”, which - for example in ancient India - forced the “marked woman” to hide these marks since they indicated lustful, wild love. The more intens the temporary mark, the more intens the lovemaking had been. Complicated, repeated combinations of the seven patterns would indicate that the woman had really suffered during the lovemaking and the complicated patterns make it clear that she had to remain still during a long foreplay, while pain-impulses and excitement increased her lust.
The bite of love
Teeth tenderly or not, sinking into the tender female flesh, is not just a scene taken from a Dracula movie. Many novels and poems tell stories about lovebites. And in fact, like whip marks, bruises and others, bite marks serve as something to remember, to be proud of, to relive the passionate night before - the pain, the extacy, the lust, the love and the intimacy.
The Kama Sutra again is one of the very few sources that describes the combination of marking and pain impulses during lovemaking. Unfortunately, although various other patterns are mentioned, they are not described in sufficient detail to reconstruct them. Various different flower patterns are mentioned for example. These must be combinations of teeth and nail imprints.
The magic of knots
The magical power of the knot is as old as mankind. You will find references to the magical power of the knot in almost any ancient culture, be it Babylonic, Celtic, Oriental, Hermetic, Wicca, Voodoo or other.
Love magic - and there are many forms of that - almost always involves the use of knots and, of course, rope. Actually, we still have some of that left in modern times. Tie a knot in your handkerchief so you will remember something really important
How does it work?
Magic is all about manipulating the energy of life. This energy is called Ki in Japanese, Chi in Chinese or Prana in Sanskrit (the ancient language of India, still used in yoga for example). Conciously tieing one or more knots in a rope is a way to bundle this energy and store it there. Of course this energy will not make your car run. Neither will it make the lights go on. But it will be more than enough to have its influence on the subtle network of Ki energy exchange, that is everywhere.
In Shibari these “energy loaded” knots and ropes will replace the heart and hands of the giver and as such will contribute to the entire physical and spiritual experience. They enable the giver to “still be close to the recipient”, even when physically not around. The interaction between the giver’s energy - temporarily stored in the knots - and the pressure points on the Ki meridians in the recipients’ body is what will release very powerful sexual and spiritual experiences.
Sexual energy is one of the most powerful manifestations of Ki energy. This is the reason why we still refer to whatever happens between love partners as “the magic”, “the spark” or “the energy”.
Universal love magic
The use of rope and knots, when working with sexual energy, is universal. In ancient Babylon (in the Middle East) seven knots were tied in a rope to invoke love. Wicca has a similar tradition of making three knots in a rope for the same purpose (sometimes with an almond - the “love nut” - inside each knot). African Voodoo works with either seven knots in a rope or with dolls, tied to each other, to invoke love, the Kama Sutra speaks of female love partners, suspended in rope to enhance their sexual energy. These are just a few of many examples.
Is all this strange? Actually not. There are over 50 erotic pressure points (Tsubo) on the human body, each as powerful as the clitoris or the nipples. And there are another 60 hormone-releasing pressure points along the spine, many of which have an erotic/sexual function. Ropes and knots will stimulate all these directly and energy, bundled in a knot, will only enhance their effect.
Dutch former journalist and government spokesman Hans Meijer is the author of the groundbreaking “Shibari Fumo Ryu” series of e-books, the first ever books outside Japan and written in English about Shibari techniques.
Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
Flash drives are considered to be one of the handiest gadgets for computer storage that has been invented since the floppy disk. They are much more durable than a floppy disk and a CD, with the capability of storing more information. They are also very small and can be connected to a key chain, stored in your pocket and some even come in the form of a pen. They easily hold about 2GB of data, which is equivalent to 1500 floppy disks.
The Basics of the Flash Drive
Flash drives are also helpful in creating back up files for a computer through the use of the USB port. This option is very useful if you are at another computer and you are working on a document. You will not have to worry about your information being lost or not saved correctly. Flash drives can also be helpful for normal tasks, such as copying files between your computers at home, or sharing files with another person. In addition, flash drives can also hold a large amount of picture files and Mp3 files. If you have a 1GB flash drive, it can hold up to 16 hours of music and over 1000 digital photos. This may vary depending on the resolution of the photographs.
When looking for a flash drive, you will see different sizes and memory storage components. If it says 256MB, then it holds 256 megabytes of information and it is the smallest flash drive available. A 2GB stands for 2 gigabytes and this is the largest and usually more expensive. The flash drive that you choose depends on how much you can spend on the device and how much storage you want. You will probably find that a smaller flash drive will go a long way and it is not necessary to spend such a large amount on storage that you will not use.
Flash drives are also referred to as USB flash drives. USB stands for “Universal Serial Bus”. Most computers that have been sold in the past 5 years have a USB port. Some computers and laptops even have up to 4 USB ports. If you are not sure where to find the port, your user manual for the computer will list the location. They are usually located on the back of the computer or in the front behind a slide down cover.
After you have saved all of the information that you need to save on the flash drive, it is important that you correctly unplug the device. In the lower right corner of the screen, click on the “Safely Remove Hardware” icon. Select the “stop” button if you only have one device in the port. If not, you will need to double click on individual devices and then click “OK”. Your computer should then give you a message that it is now safe to remove the hardware.
Where to Find a Flash Drive
There are many ways to get a flash drive for an affordable price. For example, look for sales papers from your closest office supply store. Most of these chain stores will have deals listed in the Sunday newspaper, or you can visit the store website for sale prices and dates. In some cases, stores will offer a rebate promise if you purchase the flash drive by a particular date. This deal is usually for flash drives that were once higher in price and had a bit of trouble selling due to this.
Derek Rogers is a freelance writer who writes for a number of UK businesses. For logo branded USB Flash Drives, he recommends Flashbay.com.
Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
Computers are commonly said to have brains and a memory. They are said to “think”, “learn”, and “react”. However, computers aren’t made up of living cells and tissue. These terms don’t mean the same things as they do when applied to a living, breathing being. Computer memory is the next best thing and this capability of the computer assists in the daily lives of millions of people in a variety of professions.
The most commonly known form of computer memory is RAM. Even school children know these initial, which stand for Random Access Memory. This is a volatile form of memory. Translated to laymen’s terms, volatile simply means temporary. It is not a long term memory and would best be compared to our own short term memory abilities. The information is there and being accessed by our memory when needed, but gone when it becomes unnecessary for the computer to access it in order to complete a command given by its user.
Volatile memory is sometimes referred to as dynamic because it can change and be changed. Non-volatile forms of it are sometimes referred to as static memory. It can be stored and is stable. The memory of a computer in this capacity indicates that it is not temporary in nature. A computer has both forms of memory just as we have short and long term memories. In essence, the computer and its memory are designed in a way that is reminiscent of the human brain.
What we have to remember about computers is that it is also important to know there are several types of memory, both volatile and non-volatile forms of it. Other types of computer memory include: RAM (both dynamic and static), ROM, cache, flash, virtual, video, and BIOS. There are also memory sticks. Each type of memory has specific purposes and functions and not all computers have all forms of memory. This is what makes each computer’s performance unique just as our brains are what make us unique.
It’s also important to realize that computer memory is not limited to desktops and laptops. The various types we commonly associate with computers are found in many of the electronics we use every day. Not all types are used in all electronic devices, but the individual types are located in them just the same. Some of these electronics include cell phones, PDAs (Personal Data Assistants), and radios. Even televisions and VCRs use computer memory.
The most commonly known electronic device that uses computer memory for children is the game consoles in today’s popular systems. While adults play these intriguing entertainment outlets as well, teens and kids know them best. What most children don’t realize is that the game “remembers” their ending point from a previous session of play due to the capacity of its memory. Without memory, the game console wouldn’t even remember what game to play!
Computer memory is the capacity of a computerized device to remember or run an application that makes it work the way we expect it to work when we turn it on. It is different than electricity, since that is a current that basically, in simplistic terms, wakes up the electronic, computerized device we wish to use. Computer memory makes the devices we use come to life-or as close to life as technology can get.
Victor Epand is an expert consultant for computer memory, PC supplies, and computer games. When shopping, we recommend the best online stores for PC supplies, computer, computer memory, Basics.
Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
As you go about shopping for the perfect mattress, you may be considering a memory foam mattress. With this in mind, you may be wondering which memory foam mattress is best. Through this article you are presented with important information about the memory foam mattress. Armed with this information you will be in the best position to determine whether or not a memory foam mattress is the best selection for you at this juncture in time.
Different manufacturers have come up with different product lines when it comes to memory foam mattresses. As is the case with products more generally, some of these lines are proving themselves “better” than are others.
First of all, when looking at which memory foam mattresses are best, density is an important consideration. In other words, if you do want a memory foam mattress that will be comfortable, provide appropriate support when you are in bed and will be durable and last into the future, you want to select a memory foam mattress that is dense in its constitution.
Second, if you are considering the purchase of a memory foam mattress, you will also want to pay attention to the overall thickness of the mattress. If you are going to invest in a memory foam mattress you definitely will want to be able to use the mattress for an extended period of time. Foam naturally has a tendency to collapse downward at least to some degree over time. (Again, density plays a role in all of this, of course.) Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to obtain a mattress of an appropriate thickness in the first instance if you do want to maintain usability for as long as possible. The equation of density of the foam itself and the thickness of the mattress truly are key considerations when seeking to purchase a memory foam mattress.
Third, while it is not the purpose of this informational article to make recommendations pertaining to particular brand names of memory foam mattresses, the fact nonetheless is that there are some manufacturers who have established longer and solid track records when it comes to these types of products. Therefore, in really working to determine which type of memory foam mattress should end up on your own list of the best you will want to take the time to consider independent reviews and evaluations of these products before you make a final decision about a mattress for your own usage.
Visit http://www.bestmattressreviews.com for best mattress reviews and advice on various mattress brands like Serta, Simmons and King Koil
Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
Food allergy symptoms are like patients that feel unpleasant after they ate, also sometime feels unpleasant when they think to eat food. Some patients get so many allergic reactions to the food. Only three percent children and one percent adults have this allergy. It is proven clinically.
Vomiting, nausea, headache, fatigue are some common allergy symptoms. Anaphylaxis symptom is patient can’t breathe normally because respiratory pipes swelling, Some common symptoms are swelling of the lips, tongue, face and other part of the body and abdominal pains, eczema, hives, tingling inside the mouth, these symptoms depend on the type food sources you are allergic to.
The allergic people could prevent certain foods because they get idea which food cause to allergy. When patient have no idea, that time it’s difficult and may result to increase in the symptoms. Sometimes allergic reactions are mild only with few physical symptoms and are so mild we could not identify these symptoms. Sometimes the symptom becomes life-threatening illness and it could cause death.
Food intolerance is different than food allergy. Food intolerance occurs in various diseases. In this we feel unusual feeling after meals. Food intolerance is widespread condition that occurs due to several mechanisms in the body. However food allergy is negative reaction in the immune system with physical symptoms.
Treatment of food allergy
There are many ways to avoid this allergy and there are different types of tests available to determine this allergy. It is part of treatment you can prevent it by avoiding certain food. However sometime you can not avoid preventing it because of hidden ingredients present in some foods. It can not avoid especially if you often eat restaurant food.
Adrenaline or epinephrine shot given to the food allergy patients in the emergency. Adrenaline (epinephrine shots) is given by well trained professional only. This treatment is critical for anaphylaxis patients.
Lotions and creams give relief if any skin reactions present and reduce the inflammation. You can determine the source of food which cause food allergy to you. Then you can prevent this type of food to avoid disease and you need to take medicine for rest of life also.
Kate Savage runs a series of health websites. Check out allergy relief guide for more information on allergies and if you have further questions related to medical problems, then these are surely get answered here.
NAOMI Campbell is so insistent on quashing rumors of her pregnancy that she sicced her high-powered lawyers on Page Six. The catwalker, 38, who’s dating Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin, recently told the Daily Mail, “I’d love to have a baby…
Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
Many parents have questions about how and when to inform their children about their erotic power exchange emotions. That sometimes may not be an easy thing to do. Here are a few handy guidelines, that may help you - parent - to deal with this problem. We have no intention to provide you with a ten easy steps program, since every individual situation is different. We can, however, try and help you with some hints and tips that may make the problem easier to tackle.
A few remarks first:
Never perform any erotic power exchange activity in front of minors, no matter how minor the activity or how “old” the minor. First of all that is usually illegal, secondly it is none of their business, thirdly it is nonconsensual behavior and finally, you may do some serious psychological/educational harm.
Contrary to what you may feel - most children are not really interested in their parents’ sexlife. In fact, most children don’t want to know about it. Think about what you - parent - would have felt like had you been told by your father what - and more importantly how - he did do IT with your mother. Uneasing thought, isn’t it? Well, ten to one your children feel the same about your sexlife. In most cases this is a situation where the parents want to tell the children, NOT the children wanting to know. You do want to consider your options. If there is no need to know, if they don’t have questions, there is no reason for you to tell.
One thing to firmly warn about at this point are alterior motives by parents. If you are planning to tell your children about your inclination because you don’t want them to be alarmed when mommy screams during a spanking your motives are DEFINITELY WRONG! Children - no matter at what age - are not supposed to hear their mother cry out in pain, especially not because of the fact daddy is giving her an erotic spanking. Children do not see and understand the differences between erotic power exchange and abuse and they WILL - no matter what you tell them - interpret it as abuse or “at best” strange parental behavior.
Any information/education about erotic power exchange or any other alternative lifestyle should be embedded in a total program for sexual education (more about this in a minute).
Sexual education
General sexual education is something responsible parents should get themselves involved in at a very early stage. The general opinion of the experts is that a tolerant, responsible, broad sexual education should be incorporated in the general upbringing in a natural way. I.e. bring things up when the child is up to it. When it starts asking questions about where babies come from, that is the time to start general sexual education and not the “storch” or “your daddy will tell you later” kind of stuff. A natural and neutral format for sexual education, incorporated in the total education, is widely recommended by experts. By making it a normal part of life and a normal part of the education - as opposed to turning it into an “event” - children will grow up with a more natural opinion on sexuality and will also learn to be tolerant towards those, who may have preferences outside the mainstream.
And yes, you - parent - will have to do it. No reason to leave this to school programs. You as a parent are in the front line here and whatever school or social instituation will do later can only be complementary to the education the parents did themselves. It cannot replace the parental responsibility.
There is a lot more to sexual education than “birds and bees” or the plain technical stuff. It is also about attitude towards each other, negociating your desires, understanding and tolerating others that may not share your emotions, sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, norms and values, self-protection, understanding your own body and desires and responsible sexual behavior. In fact, the technical stuff comes last.
Embedding tolerance and understanding towards non-mainstream sexual activity is paramount if you want to give yourself any chance to explain about alternative lifestyles at a later stage. Embedding this is NOT the same as selling it. Your best bet is to do this just as natural as you explain the many different flavors of ice-cream, so to speak.
Think ahead!
By all means do try to think ahead and prevent crisis situations. Children are curious and their curiosity will lead to your children finding your whips, cuffs, toys, books or pictures if you do not store them properly (i.e. behind lock and key). What you should do is try and prevent children finding books, pictures etcetera and start to fantasize about them (and tell others) without proper information and guidance. Plus, you are very likely to scare the living daylights out of them when it happens and they are not likely to tell you about the things they found and their - logical - fears and misconceptions.
If and when they find these things they will very likely not turn to you with questions, but they will talk to (and maybe show it to!!!!) their friends and it is not unlikely - depending on their individual situation - they will turn to counsel without your knowledge. That is not what you want. Unless you have created a situation where it is normal to talk about these subjects, do not expect your children to come to you. And “just” being a good parent is not enough in this area. You have to establish a situation where sexually related matters are being discussed in a normal, mature way. “You can talk to me about anything” will not do it when it comes to sexual desires, subjects and fears your children may have. You will simply have to play an active role here, “Being there” is not enough. In fact, even if there is a healthy environment, they may not turn to you because they may very well be afraid to embarrass you.
Another well known crisis is the following scene: mommy has just been tied down on the bed and John junior walks into the bedroom, complaining about a painful tummy. This is a scene you will first of all want to try and prevent. If you are into erotic power exchange, make it a simple family policy that the parent bedroom is off limits, that a simple knock on a door is the polite thing to do in any case and that the door may be locked on occasion, simply because mommy and daddy appreciate a little privacy on occasion.
If a situation like this ever happens - talk to your child immediately! (no matter what time of the night it is) Simply explain the situation. If you don’t you’ll run into all sorts of problems later. Remember that parents are the ultimate role models.
At what age?
It is difficult to give any general guideline about the right age to inform children about alternative forms of sexuality. One thing however is certain, there is very little use in telling them about it if there is insufficient fertile soil (in other words if more general sexual subjects have not been covered first) and if they are unable to understand what you are trying to explain. Some children - girls especially - will start to understand at the age of 14 or 15. Others - boys are slower! - will only be ready at 17 or 18. In any case, subjects like alternative lifestyles are something for a more mature age and certainly not for young children. If they are unable to understand the subject, it will be very likely your effort will turn out to be counterproductive.
Another important hing: give them time. Children, especially adolescents, go through a turmoil of sexual fantasies, uncertainties and developments between the ages of eight and fifteen. And just because girls start to menstruate that does not mean that boys do not have similar huge emotional steps to go through. The first wet dream has just as much impact as the first menstruation. Don’t overfeed them with information. Especially not any information that comes on top of the normal experimental phase, the hormonal changes and the growing pains. Children - adolescents especially - need time to experiment, discover their own sexuality. Your need to tell them about erotic power exchange - unless they specifically ask - is indeed your need, not theirs. Overenthousiastic plans to tell them about your inclination may heavily interfere with the development of their own sexuality and that may very well cause serious problems later.
Also, do remember that adolescents especially are extremely receptive to sexually related subjects at this age and that shame and uncertainty play a big part in their life. They are exploring. Let them - but do remember that anything you tell them now will be a HUGE IMPRINT. Here is a good example of just how big. A young - 12 year old - boy after his first wet dream was told by his mother that he had only a limited quantity of sperm available and that he was not supposed to waste any of it. This of course scared the living daylights out of him. Tenty years later it took a very experienced therapist well over three years to get this imprint out of his head. Until that point he had been too afraid to even try and make love, hence had turned impotent.
What to tell them?
Well, as we explained, children don’t want to know about the sexual activity of their parents. So you’ll have to concentrate on a more general approach: i.e. there are homosexuals, bisexuals, lesbians, people into erotic power exchange, etcetera and it is absolutely normal to have non-mainstream preferences, inclinations or fantasies. Do explain that people who will try to tell them different are simply intolerant.
Once you have fertilized the soil this way and sexual subjects have become normal subjects for your children to talk about or ask questions about (even if these questions are difficult or “abnormal”) you have won three quarters of the battle. Because once you have established this situation - which is a long term strategy - not only will you have given your children a much more mature and tolerant outlook on sexuality (and they are less likely to become pregnant at an early age, run into some sort of of sexually transmitted disease or anything similar) but you will have created an environment where they will start to ask questions.
This is a long term strategy that - ideally - should start at a very early age (playing with your own sex-organ is NOT unnatural for example, all children do it and usually at a very early age). As soon as you have established a climate, where sexual subjects are just as normal as asking questions about math-tests at school, it will be likely your kids will start to ask questions. THAT is the right time to talk about erotic power exchange, because now they are receptive to it and probably up to it. Explain it to them in general terms, not as “this is what daddy does to mommy”. At a later stage, again only after the soil has been prepared and fertilized, you may want to - casually - tell them know mommy and daddy are into it as well.
How to tell them?
Most experts on sexual - or any - education will tell you that education is a dual process - explaining and a bit of initiative by the educator on one end and exploration and discovery by the child on the other. Which is why any responsible sexual educator will provide written material (books or Internet information) on the subject as well as explanation, guidance and personal information. That is exactly what you should try and do. Get yourself some books (on general sexual education) and make sure these books are the tolerant, non-prejudiced kind. If and when the subject of erotic power exchange is being brought up: provide information about the subject they can read for themselves (remember that it is not unlikely they may already have done some exploration themselves), but make sure this is in a format that children or adolescents will understand.
Again, in your role as educator take a neutral, more general approach and try to avoid your OWN personal preferences and involvement at this stage and only, casually, tell them later about the fact that you are into it as well.
In general, boys are more likely to talk to daddy about sexual issues, girls are more likely to pick mommy for this job. Hence sexual education is something BOTH parents should get themselves involved in. Not every parent is good at this. No problem, there is nothing wrong with telling your children that you have difficulty explaining this or that or that you may have to educate yourself first.
Erotic power exchange behavior
Couples will often have behavior patterns and house rules, that are the result of the power exchange dynamics between the two partners. Examples are things like the submissive always has to obey the dominant, she has limited control over money, she has to greet in a certain way and such. In principle there is nothing wrong with this, but there are some things to consider in this area.
Make sure you set the right examples for your children. You - as a parent - are the ultimate role model. If limited budget control is the system in your family, that does not have to be a problem, as long long as you explain that this is not the way everybody does this and that your daughters will have to learn to control their own budgets.
Punishments, kneeling down and over-enthousiastic house rules are out of the question when children are present. You’ll have to look for more subtle ways to make the power dynamics explicit or simply refrain from them in the presence of children. If you set the wrong role model you may create unwanted, unbalanced or unhealthy behavior patterns later and not everything can be corrected by explaining.
Finally it is not all that difficult as long as you understand that there is NO need to know from the childs’ point of view. Very likely YOU are the one wanting to explain the situation - the only question you have to ask yourself is wether or not that is productive and has anything to contribute to the childs’ upbringing and development. In general terms, general, tolerant and open-minded sexual education is GOOD. Very good. In any event - even unintentionally - projecting your needs and desires on your children is NOT GOOD.
Author Hans Meijer (54) is a former Dutch journalist, currently the chairman of the Powerotics Foundation, an organisation dedicated to providing quality information about alternative lifestyles.
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Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
The very word article takes most of us back to our school days when that formidable blank sheet of paper meant hours of research, tedious English rules, and a teacher wielding a giant red pen. We felt defeated before we even began. So today, when we hear that the best Internet marketing strategy for branding yourself as an expert is writing articles, the most articulate, intelligent, and motivated expert breaks into a cold sweat.
Online articles, on the other hand, are conversational in style.
Out in the brick-and-mortar world, the article writer has to crash through a gatekeeper called a magazine editor. Magazine submissions are tricky because each magazine has its own criteria and agenda. Each magazine has a subject list and the articles within that particular edition must be appropriate. The writer must select magazines in his or her niche, pore over the subject list, and get acquainted with the editor through query letters, writing samples, and credentials. All this without the slightest promise of success.
Online articles, on the other hand, are conversational in style. Forget those frustrating and confining composition formats and write like you talk. Better yet, talk out the article into digital format and have it transcribed. Or do what I’m doing and use voice-activated software. Online readers want simple words and short paragraphs. They want to cut to the chase.
While the print article requires hours of intense labor, the online article can be talked into a file in 20 to 30 minutes.
Online articles are short, 300 to 600 words on the average, while print articles range from 1,000 to 2,500 words — roughly equivalent to a chapter of a book. The information must be researched, verified, and documented. It must be carefully organized and complete. The online version delivers one idea or block of information. It is based on personal expertise more than on research. While the print article requires hours of intense labor, the online article can be talked into a file in 20 to 30 minutes. No lengthy outline. No footnotes. No detailed research. Can you find a an easier tool for Web marketing?
Instead of intensive effort to convince an editor your work is worthy of consideration, the burden of discovery shifts from the writer to the editor. E-zine editors search online directories for material. Instead of compiling a list of potential targets, the online writer focuses on keywords then uses those words again and again, from article to article. He creates keyword-rich titles and catchy descriptions. Once familiar with his keywords, they become a natural part of his vocabulary to automatically create his platform and build his personal brand.
Because of their very nature, online articles provide a smooth transition to the writer’s website.
Because of their very nature, online articles provide a smooth transition to the writer’s website. The article is already online, so one click moves the reader into the writer’s world. Although print magazines will include the writer’s URL in the byline, the reader must carry the magazine to his computer and type in. This effort automatically reduces the click through rate. Once the reader drops the magazine, the writer’s URL is the last thing on his mind. This one point makes the online article intensely effective for promoting your online information business. The reader has got the mouse in his hand with his nose inches from the screen. That barely visible movement of his index finger could be called the most powerful exercise on earth.
And now I’d like to invite you to get my free CD, “Publication Transformation: How to Make your Book your Business.” Even if your book is still in the future, you can gain great insight into how to reformat and market the information you already have.
Here is the link: http://PublicationTransformation.com
Rosey Dow is CEO of Experts in Focus–http://expertsinfocus.com
Category: Uncategorized
posted on October 24th, 2008
Do you struggle when it comes to shopping for a new pair of shoes? It’s clear that some people enjoy looking for footwear somewhat more than others. If you need some help, then this article is an excellent starting point.
There are clearly numerous styles of shoes available right now. If you’re thinking about doing some shoe shopping then it may be because your previous footwear have become too old, or maybe because you need something for a particular occasion, such as a party or wedding.
It’s likely that you’ll basically have two main options when you come to think about making a purchase. The first option will be to go down what we might think of as being the traditional route.
That would involve taking a trip to a store and looking to make a purchase there.
A second option would be to make use of the internet to make a purchase online. So which would you prefer?
This can be a dilemma for some consumers but the reality is that there are pros and cons to both options. You need to think about your needs and what’s best for you.
Let’s start by turning our attention to buying from a physical store. The first thing to say is that this is likely to involve some travelling on your part, unless you’re fortunate enough to live right next to a selection of shoe shops.
Each individual store will carry a relatively limited range, so you’ll need to visit a number of stores if you are particular about your purchases.
There are advantages, however. Most notably, you’ll be able to try on a new pair of shoes immediately and see how they look and feel.
So what about shopping online? The main advantages are clearly the selection of footwear that is available and the prices. You can make significant savings online.
How about the disadvantages? One is that you will have to wait for your new shoes for you to arrive via the post, which may take a day or two. This is not to everyone’s liking.
Online returns policies will often mean that you will at least be able to send them back to the online store if you don’t like them, or they’re not comfortable.
The choice on how to shop for shoes is a personal one. When I choose to shop online, I usually opt for Samuel Windsor, as I appreciate their prices, selection and service.
It’s for you to decide on how you prefer to shop.
Find out about Samuel Windsor shoes online, as discussed by Keith Barrett. This article may be used by any website publisher, though this resource box must always be included in full.
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